Tinker

We had to say goodbye to our gorgeous little ‘Tinker’ on friday. It was the toughest decision hubby and I have ever had to make.

When we received the diagnosis two weeks ago that her cancer was terminal and that there was pretty much nothing they could do for her we decided that we would make the most of the time we had left with her and not dwell on her illness too much. Of course the reality of the situation was different – as is always the case and we were so hyper alert to any signs of deteriation and any distress she may be suffering that it has been a stressful few weeks.

Watching her go down hill was painful and we had many discussions with each other as to how we would know when the time was right to let her go.

We both were hoping that she would make the decision herself but our feisty little madam had no intention of letting us off the hook that easily and continued to fight everyday despite what must have been incredible pain for her.

But come last Thursday we knew the time we had left was limited. She had eaten very little over that week and come Thursday evening she stopped eating her beloved cream cheese which also contained her painkiller. When the following morning she refused it again and sat under the bed it was clear we had to do the right thing for her and not prolong her pain any more.

I held her in my arms as we drove to the vets and they were quick and kind with her and to us who by that stage were two blubbering wrecks.

So, our dear sweet little Tinker is now at peace and we are struggling to adjust to life without her. She has been such a constant part of our lives for the last 17 and a half years that the hole she has left is big, deep and very raw. Oscar and Molly are getting lots of extra cuddles and love as they too adjust to the change in dynamic. Once they were a group of four cats and now they are just two.

That she had the best life and gave us the most love a little cat can is a comfort but damn it still hurts like hell……..

Advertisements

4 thoughts on “Tinker

  1. Dear Helen and John
    Don’t know what to say! I’m crying as I read your post – we know how the lost of a much-loved member of the family leaves such a gaping hole for you both and Oscar and Molly. You did everything you could for Tinker and sad though it was, you made the right decision.
    Wish you were here so we could cuddle you!
    Much love
    xxxxx

    • Thank you both for your loving thoughts. Big hugs back to you and your two fur babies. The only downside to letting these animals into your life is having to let them go again.
      xxxx

  2. I am sitting crying reading your words as it reminds me so much of when we lost our Jake only wks when we moved.
    She love you both very much, & I saw her slip away & ask me to send you healing, which of course I have…
    As I’ve sat here crying at your passing wee shadow has meowed & ran across to sit on my lap I am convinced that herself & sister star are the 2 cats we lost within a year,………you never know when they return xxxxx big hugs
    Jj*

    • Thank you Jacqui, I saw her the following day out on our walk and she stayed with me for a while. I then smelled her the day and felt her around for a while but nothing since. She has gone now but like you say you never know when her soul may pass our way again. Feeling very sad but very glad for her company for so long as well. lots of love. xxxx

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s