Claustrophobia…..

For the most part I love living in my little caravan…..no actually love doesn’t seem the right word. I adore living in my little caravan. A whole year on and I can still say that I am a very happy bunny and that living in such a small environment hasn’t worn thin.

Unless it rains and I am confined to barracks that is. Then the story is very different. When the rain clouds form my mood darkens and I can feel myself fighting the urge to break out and run free.

This weekend the weather was vile. Non stop thunderstorms from Saturday morning until late last night. We had to dig emergency channels around the awning to stop it flooding and then spent the rest of the weekend holed up inside as the lightening and thunder reverberated off the mountains and shook the caravan and all that was in it – including us.

It was too horrible to venture out and so I had no choice but to grin and bear it. By last night I was crawling the walls and could no longer contain my anguish. Everything was crowding in on me, I felt I couldn’t move, my chest was tight and I was having trouble breathing. Hubby did his best to calm me down and we sat and watched Harry Potter to take our minds of the raging storms outside.

This morning we have awoken to clear blues skies and although it is really windy I am  immediately happier as it means I can be back outside if I want to. We have dried out the awning and moved everything back into its right place and calm and order rules again.

I am not a girl who likes to be contained. One of the biggest lessons I have learned this past year is how much I love to feel free; how much I love being in nature and living a very simple life. I have thrown of many of the constraints that modern living tries to tie us down with and my heart really does soar because of it.

However, I can’t throw off mother nature. She is raw and powerful up here in the mountains. When she roars and rains then you know about it. She is the boss and she is teaching me that there are times when I have to respect that there is something stronger than me in the world and be contained. It is a humble lesson to learn but as with all lessons that are sent to us it is one that I need to accept and live with.

So, next time it rains and we are confined indoors for a few days then I hope I will deal with it in a much better and calmer way…….

I’ll let you know how that one goes….. 🙂

 

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3 thoughts on “Claustrophobia…..

  1. I guess it’s ironic that you abandoned the daily grind and the ties that bind for the freedom of the open road only to confined to the very thing that gives you the freedom. It’s but a temporary setback and a lesson learned! 😉

  2. Yes the irony has not been missed!! the lesson is of course that no-one is ever completely free……we all have to have a certain modicum of restraint, to fit into the bigger scheme of things. Its no bad lesson for me to learn that I can’t have it all my own way all of the time!! There is a time to be wild and carefree and a time to be calm and ordered. Balance……… 🙂

  3. This so reminds me of a post I wrote once – don’t cage me in – about the cages we make for ourselves. I don’t like it when I get stuck in the house for a day and I would feel very trapped in a caravan! Glad the weather has improved xx

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